Suburbia is thriving today. Weekdays are full of work and kid’s activities, while weekends are full of kid’s events and nights out with friends. We are running fast and living our best. Well, that’s at least what the post portrays. What’s really going on behind the scenes? Do you feel that life is overwhelming? Is trying to keep up with the Jones’s exhausting? Are dinners together as a family nonexistent? Are these stresses causing you anxiety or even worse causing you to self-medicate in hopes that you get to escape from it all for a short time? Do you have purpose other than trying to raise some morally good kids? What’s holding you back from living in your true identity in Christ?
There’s another pandemic on hand in suburban America that no one is talking about. It’s not going to make the news. It’s not being talked about much at church. The enemy loves it because he doesn’t have to be very active. It’s based on Pride, Perfection, and Power. That we have it all together, all the time and that we are in control. Couple this with busyness and we have major blinders on.
The voice behind this writing knows that this can be different. It doesn’t have to be this way. You see, on Paper, I have it all together. I have the fancy title. I run a business that is thriving. I have the beautiful wife that molds young minds and serves the community. I have two healthy boys that are respectful and fun loving. My fence is brown, but it’s pretty much a white picket one.
In Public, I’m happy. I’m in church on Sunday with my hands lifted high worshiping the King. I’m fun. I’m vibrant. I’m an encourager. The pictures on social media are loved. We are seen in the community and connect with lots of people.
But in Private, I have a secret. A stronghold. A vice that has me in bondage. A secret that is wounding my marriage and fear that my kids are being exposed to something that could cause harm and needs to be addressed. I have some accountability, but again, we are all busy with life so who has the time to keep up with people? I hit my knees daily and ask the Lord to take it away from me, but I do nothing else about it. Those hands lifted high at church on Sunday are quickly weighed down from the shame I have because I have a problem. God has called me to something huge, but I can’t be obedient because of this “one thing” holding me back. I fight it hard. The Lord places a new voice in my life, a co-worker, that challenges me to attack it and partner with God. He tells me, “You know your God-given purpose in life, and not many do or ever will.” And he asks me: “Are you lukewarm?” He nails it, he calls me out. The next day the message on my podcast speaks to these same questions I was just asked. Coincidence? Hardly. He messages me during the podcast: “The door on drinking must be closed and will end with you, because if not, this will affect your boys.”
But where do I get help? I have too much Pride to check myself into a program. I muscle through for a few more months living in even more guilt and shame. Then my brother-in-law tells me he’s going to be a leader at Re:generation Recovery at church. This is the same program that redeemed his marriage, addressed so many of his dark-rooted sins, and gave him hope. I considered it, but thought it only started at set times of the year, which wasn’t the case. I knew about re:gen for years and had often thought about it, but “what would people think?” The enemy’s whispers kept me away. I finally attended and walked in that first night shameful, but ready to be released. Once they gave me the lay of the land and the program details, I committed on the spot.
200 sober days later, I can proudly say that the Lord has removed this stronghold and I owe this to re:generation! Twenty plus years of an addiction, gone! This was the accountability I needed to take steps to truly walk in freedom. I can’t even begin to explain what the Lord has done to me and is now doing through me. My guilt and shame are gone, and I no longer live to please people but to please King Jesus. The first step of getting out of your own way and admitting you have a problem really is the hardest. We all have something that is holding us back from living our best for our family and walking in our purpose for the Kingdom. Anger, pride, porn, alcohol abuse, codependency, an eating disorder, financial disarray, gambling, anxiety, and so much more. There are so many strongholds. It doesn’t matter how good you look on Paper or in Public, you know what’s holding you back in Private. Seek help! Be renewed, restored, redeemed. Be Regenerated!
For more information on re:generation, a recovery ministry, go to Woodsedge.org/regen.
You are welcome to visit at any time.